a twister in my mind

all my life I've heard and still do that life is an experience that is to be lived... don't hold back but live..

Family and friends are those who who make life livable.

Then there were times when life became suffocating and quotes like "You cant change your friends you cant change your family you cant change anyone so rather change yourself " came along... making things more claustrophobic...

The discomfort stayed... till a few days back when i peered into my seven year old nephews book and found the picture of a cocoon silently making a point. Life in itself is great but what if you yourself are yet incapable of encompassing it's adulterated abundance.. you then need time to prepare yourself for the roses in life are not devoid of its thorns..

well then the cocoon or one may say the external womb comes in. Within however, homo sapiens this is a very internal scheme. my discomfort may have ceased but what took it's place gave me no less irritation...the cocoon seemed a simple answer but what hit me was its mechanism. i haven't been able to work it out. the more i think the more confused i become giving way to awe and angst at the same time.

if the mechanism of the cocoon whether literal or otherwise how does the mechanism go about?

if the purpose is actually of an exile from the outside til it develops to face it then how does this happen without any interaction with the outer world. And if there is a supposed interaction then how can it be not affected?

Again, hypothetically if i assume that there is no interaction? how can one survive in solitude for so long?

a twister in my mind ... i just cant seem to break the shell.. how and why?